So yesterday we went out to take part in a marriage arrangement. Although young couples today have the ability to choose their own mates or accept or decline proposals of marriage, the enagagement process still looks similar to that of yesteryear.
We arrived at the house of the bride-to-be, greeted by loads of family members--50-60 from her side. The grooms family arrived in a bus from a town about 1 1/2 hours away. The arranging consisted of the bride and groom-to-be, their parents and a "Witness" for each side, in addition to other prominant family entering into a specially prepared room. The room had been completely vacated of beds, dressers, knicknacks and others odds and ends stored there normally. Instead was a large rectantgular room with fresh pine needles spread on the floor, a table at the front for the Witnesses(a church elder or other respected family member), parents and couple, and chairs all around the perimeter for guests. Guests were allowed to come and go, allowing others to come in and listen. The two Witnesses act as brokers for the families, first giving advice and premarital counsel, and then arranging the details of the gifts to be delivered by the groom's family and length of engagement period required by the bride's family. Gifts traditionally consisted in a monthly delivery of meat and vegetables and tamalitos alternated with a basket of bread and chocolate or bags of sugar or soft drinks. Some just agree upon an amount of cash. Engagement periods can last from about 3-12 months. After the famlies agree upon the terms, the couple goes around the room on their knees, kissing the hands of their elders in the family. We were told that this is to show respect, and also to ask forgiveness of the bride's family for leaving her family. (Also, if by chance the bride is already in the family way, this is the opportunity to publickly show remorse and ask forgiveness of her family).
The couple, Maria and Sebastian agreed upon 6 months (some say 7 as the deliveries will be made every 4 weeks). They are an older couple, both 30 years old, and they seem very happy. The groom is not from a Christian family, but they seemed very respectful of the biblical counsel offered during the half-day ceremony.
After the ceremony, the famlies share a large meal together. We enjoyed beef and vegetables in a traditional red sauces thickened with cornmeal and complete with tamalitos. Most everyone ate without spoons, working on the sauce first with their tamalitos and then picking out the veggies and meat with their hands. But the hosts kindly brought us out two spoons. Either they are just really sweet to us or they think we're spoiled, or both. :)
It was a great day, learning more about this interesting culture we live in. Today, at lunch after clinic in Mactzul I, we asked a few questions about the whole wedding thing, clarifying what we didn't understand from yesterday and them asking about what we do in the US. Then we asked everyone around the table how long their engagement was, and if they knew their brides before hand or if they were arranged by parents. Even Gaspar who is our age, said he only knew Juana by sight, and his dad and mom arranged the wedding--as mom needed help in the kitchen not having any daughters of her own. The younger guys chose their own wives. The older guys said they had been purely arranged marriages--one said his mom found him a wife--probably time for kitchen help there too! Engagements ranged from 3 months to a year with many of the men with shorter engagement (or waiting periods) less than 3 months laughing about not sure they could hold out for a year. It was a great conversation that brought out the human side of everyone, great laughs and discussions of cultural differences in different places in Guatemala, the US and around the world, good ones, bad ones and just interesting ones.
The happy couple - Maria and Sebastian. Maria is the sister of Manuel Sut Gonzalez, one of the health promoters that works with HTI. We have about 7 pictures of Maria and Sebastian and Maria has the same exact pose in each one, minus the one below as we finally got a smile out of her! Typical guy going casual and girl putting on her new digs - guys are the same everywhere!
Cute little cousins. The boy in the green shirt is Tomas and we hope his dad gets to check out the blog since he is away. :)
Cooking of the stew.
Of course lots of kids who warm up to us more and more every time we are around.
Thanks for checking in and God bless!!
We are Kemmel and Lisa Dunham, medical missionaries serving with Health Talents International in the rural area of Chichicastenango, El Quiche in Guatemala. We have been blessed with an opportunity to serve with local churches in a ministry sharing the love of God with each person we meet. We hope you enjoy our stories and updates. Email us at kemmelandlisa@aol.com.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Levi Lisandro Tomas Quino Salvador - Paxot 2
Well, we have not posted any pictures of Juan and Aura and their son Levi. Many of you know Juan and some know Aura. Levi was born in towards the end of August. Juan and Aura are great and Levi is very cute and healthy.
Today we head out to Paxot 2 to join Manuel Sut's family in an engagement party for his sister Maria. This will be our first engagement party so we will get some up front experience on how the courtship works. This is kind of the local method of marraige counseling where many of the elders of the church and family meet with the couple and give them suggestions and encouragement for their future life together. Will be very interesting and a great time to spend in Paxot 2.
We would almost move to Paxot 2 if we knew we would not have someone on the door step all of the time needing something. :) That is our US culture coming out, we like our privacy. :)
Today we head out to Paxot 2 to join Manuel Sut's family in an engagement party for his sister Maria. This will be our first engagement party so we will get some up front experience on how the courtship works. This is kind of the local method of marraige counseling where many of the elders of the church and family meet with the couple and give them suggestions and encouragement for their future life together. Will be very interesting and a great time to spend in Paxot 2.
We would almost move to Paxot 2 if we knew we would not have someone on the door step all of the time needing something. :) That is our US culture coming out, we like our privacy. :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
We spent the weekend in Guatemala City, trying to knock out some errands and get in some sushi! One of the errands was hand delivering my petition for credit for continuing education I earned in the States--they will honor them here, but you have to send a letter (and make sure it's received!). That turned out to be a pretty quick trip down to Zone 1 (or downtown) Guatemala City. Then we headed over to the International Bible Society to check on any special deals. We picked up 4 boxes of Reina Valera Bibles at a good rate, just in time for tent meeting season. They had a lot of resources there and even a reading area for kids. One of our dreams is to have a Resource Room/Library here in our area where people can come and check out books and supplies and print out class material at cost. We keep getting more ideas about how to make it user friendly and inviting.
Finally we worked our way over to the HELPS International office to buy some more ONeil WATER FILTERS. These filters store 5 gallons of water and eliminate bacteria, viruses and parasites. We have been selling them at cost, and little by little word is catching on. Last week a patient and her husband came in for a consult and he said, "by the way, Dra, I want to thank you for selling my wife the water filter. We have all been drinking so much water, now that it's easy to have around. It even tastes better than the bottled stuff!" We always try to break down the cost savings for them, and most people recognize how much they will save in time, firewood and upset stomachs--not to mention the huge difference if they are buying bottled water.
We rounded out the day with a trip to the grocery stores and picking up a few favorites like sharp cheddar cheese and Pace Picante sauce. Mmmmmm.....
Finally we worked our way over to the HELPS International office to buy some more ONeil WATER FILTERS. These filters store 5 gallons of water and eliminate bacteria, viruses and parasites. We have been selling them at cost, and little by little word is catching on. Last week a patient and her husband came in for a consult and he said, "by the way, Dra, I want to thank you for selling my wife the water filter. We have all been drinking so much water, now that it's easy to have around. It even tastes better than the bottled stuff!" We always try to break down the cost savings for them, and most people recognize how much they will save in time, firewood and upset stomachs--not to mention the huge difference if they are buying bottled water.
We rounded out the day with a trip to the grocery stores and picking up a few favorites like sharp cheddar cheese and Pace Picante sauce. Mmmmmm.....
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Clinic in Xepol
Today Lisa, Juan and I headed off to Xepol for clinic. Xepol is about 1 hour + from Chichicastenango towards Guatemala City. Once there you would never think it but it is only about 15 minutes off the highway provided there is no mud around. Today we gained a new respect for Sheri as this is normally her clinic and the roads are shall we say "less than good". At least on one occasion they had to hike in to the church building due to the muddy, slippery hills. So today we decided we will remind ourselves each month to prepare some backbacks of medicine just in case we or Sheri and team has to walk. The walk is about 1 mile but not so easy when slippery and muddy and carrying medicine boxes, etc. Kudos Sheri!!!
Church building in Xepol.
Maybe hard to see but this is the back of the church where the mudslide is after they cleaned it out. There is a hole that goes back about 4 feet with roots and such still handing on. The road is not far above that. :(
This is above the church on top of where the hole is looking over the roof of the church - great view of the valley and mountains.
While stateside we got a laugh or actually a few laughs out of highway signs that say "bump" or "primitive road" as we went over the bump and thought, "was that a bump??" We get our own daily exercise on the bumps we go over, but it is fun and an adventure most of the time. As one student said once, "you have the best job, as you get to do what you do and 4 wheel everyday!".
So back to Xepol. Today, gracias a Dios, the roads were mostly clear, minus the obstacles, but no mud, so easy going. We were met by one of the leaders of the church and local promotor / translator, Tomas Salvador and he immediatley showed us where a mudslide took out a wall of the church and was proud that they already fixed the wall, but are pretty concerned about how to prevent future problems. The land that this church sits on was carved out of the mountain by shovels, pics and hoes, so no small feat. Not sure they have much hope without a bunch of rock and cement to create a retaining wall and I am not convinced that would work, but took some pictures to show some others and see what they think.
This is a community that we started last year and it has been slow going; however, as we see the need and as Tomas is excited about having this ministry in his church and he annoucnes each time, we are finding it hard to let it go. Plus, we have had some great contacts in this clinic. We have had a number of patients whose lives have been changed forever in this clinic, including a boy with seizure disorders that Sheri has written about -
. http://sheriinguate.blogspot.com/2010/09/lemoa-and-victor.html .
We have had days with 15 or so patients, but most of the time we have less than 10 and today was no different, we had 6 patients; however, this was after Tomas announced on 3 different occasions, at church, on the radio and at a community meeting. We noticed upon entering that a large group of people was gathering around the center of the town for some meeting, so that could have affected us today. The benefit of a small clinic is the time we and the local church members get to spend with each patient. Today Lisa and Tomas spent about 20-30 minutes with each patient reviewing their physical complaints but also discussing their lives and praying with them.
Todays theme in clinic surrounded the results of bad human interpretation of how we should serve God and others. Some of the patients today were from another local congregation not demonstrating the kind of love and care God would want us to provide. By charging members of their own church body for prayers, pushing them to fast while they are sick, and refusing as an eldership to pray with sick people in their homes, these patients were not seeing the results they expected and were beginning to lose hope. The church health promoter Tomas was diplomatic and encouraging as he offered his services and those of his church to pray and council with the family free of charge. He also encouraged the patients to resume a healthy diet and leave the fasting to fellow brethern.
We were also entertained today by 3 cute kids - Tomas, Ofelia and Sheena (with Hermalinda on her back).
All photos today taken with my computer since we forgot the camera - in a pinch works great.
Between noon and 1pm as no more patients were waiting around and as we were down the side of a mountain with "primitive roads", that could get ugly, Tomas was ready to go home and call it a day. As there were no more patients and the sky started to look like it was going to rain with hurricaine Paula lurking in the carribean, we headed back to Chichi. Gracias a Dios, it still is not raining, so maybe God is blessing the area with no more rain for now.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
I have been lazy getting back to the blogging habit, but figured a cool date like 10/10/10 was a good enough reason to kickstart it. We have had a good week back and realize how much we missed everyone while we were gone. It's good to be missed as well, and our Guatemalan friends made us feel welcomed back. One of the questions we get a lot about missionary life is "What do you miss the most?" Well, there are a lot of things, but our short list includes:
#3 the spacious open highways,
#2 endless choices at the stores,
#1 getting to be with family and friends
Really, the thing that makes a place home is feeling welcome and having people that love you and that you love as well. We are blessed to have families that love us and even support us in this work even though it is hard not seeing each other very often. It was so good to be back and just be with our parents and brothers and sisters and our church families. We were treated like royalty the whole time (and probably overfed just a little).
The thing we didn't expect, is that when we got back to Guatemala, we realized how much we had missed our family here while we were gone. We were greeted with smiles and hugs and phone calls by our co-workers, church families and patients. God is good!
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matthew 29:19
#3 the spacious open highways,
#2 endless choices at the stores,
#1 getting to be with family and friends
Really, the thing that makes a place home is feeling welcome and having people that love you and that you love as well. We are blessed to have families that love us and even support us in this work even though it is hard not seeing each other very often. It was so good to be back and just be with our parents and brothers and sisters and our church families. We were treated like royalty the whole time (and probably overfed just a little).
The thing we didn't expect, is that when we got back to Guatemala, we realized how much we had missed our family here while we were gone. We were greeted with smiles and hugs and phone calls by our co-workers, church families and patients. God is good!
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matthew 29:19
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Back Home in Chichi
Well it looks like we fell off the earth if looking at our blog; however, we have just been in the states for the last month. Great month and glad to be back in our home. We will write some more later - busy cleaning up bug bodies and dust that has collected while we were gone. :)
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